For most married couples, the value placed on great communication at the beginning of their relationship comes from a natural connection and a desire to see and converse with “the once‑in‑a‑lifetime person” who takes their breath away. It’s as if they’ve struck gold and want to keep that treasure alive through constant dialogue. The curiosity at this stage reaches the roof  -  who is this lady? What’s her favorite color? Where can I take her for the best experience? What does she think of my clothing? What’s her opinion on the step I’m about to take? Who are her parents? Who are the friends she talks to?

Like you, I know what it feels like to maintain high energy to impress and understand who your lover is and what they think of you.

As time passes, familiarity sets in. You now know many things, and both partners have a sense of what the other wants and how they might act in a given situation. Consequently, the fire of communication can burn down slowly, especially when other factors - children, businesses, and so on - enter the picture. Yet, just as communication was the bedrock at the start of the relationship, it must remain the foundation as you continue to build. Your dialogue should stay the cornerstone of your marriage because it is the place where understanding, intimacy, and connection converge.

There are things that third parties cannot hear you say, yet you feel comfortable sharing openly with your partner - both the good and the bad. There is a kind of “holy gossip” that you both engage in (while God knows your private moments ). Plans, visions, missions, dreams, businesses, children, and other matters need to be sorted out between the two of you before they can be aired publicly. Personal and confidential concerns that reside in your partner’s heart are yours to share and advise on in a natural, appropriate way. These - and many more - are reasons why great communication must occur regularly between partners.

Any relationship lacking communication is bound to deteriorate, if not collapse entirely. If you’re experiencing communication problems and want to fix them, rest assured that God is ready to help.

There are times when we feel unworthy of approaching God because of our inadequacies and shortcomings. Yet, at the end of the day, we find ourselves returning to Him for help, because we sense His love calling us to come as we are. In the same way, each partner must share a loving attitude that draws them to each other, regardless of circumstances or differences. Couples should engage in continuous prayer so that their love draws them closer day by day.

The Voice of Reason

Couples should listen to the voice of reason. In our experience, it’s impossible for married partners to agree on every point, but they must at least agree to dialogue through reasoning and reasonable compromise. Many partners struggle because they have turned off this voice - whether deliberately or out of ignorance. The voice of reason works in both agreeable and disagreeable situations; all you need is humility to submit to the best possible outcome for the relationship and for individual growth, not degradation.

How to Foster Great Communication

Every conversation benefits from:

1. Humility toward each other – Treat your partner’s opinions as equally important - or even more important - than your own, even when they’re hard to swallow or commend.

2. Voice of reason – Don’t lose your temper over matters; allow each other to express feelings and strive to understand. Sometimes you’ll need to present your case persuasively, but even if you don’t “win,” both of you will have listened and can make the best decision for your shared progress.

3. Love attraction – Regardless of whose opinion prevails, love keeps you rooted together; that’s why you entered the dialogue in the first place.

4. Intentional routines – Be purposeful and make it a habit to discuss yourselves and family matters regularly.

5. Memories – Create them through daily expressions:

   • the words you speak,

   • your gestures,

   • affectionate statements,

   • emotional languages,

   • mental notations.

6. Encouragement – Find genuine, humane ways to uplift your partner during every interaction. Let them feel respected even when you disagree; nothing is worth disrespecting your spouse over.

7. Togetherness – Cherish your unity above all else. Communication should be mutual, not one‑sided. Avoid letting other priorities - such as children - drill holes in your relationship; your spouse remains the most important person, with everything else (including children) fitting around that core.

8. Agreement – When you agree, you walk together. As Amos 3:3 reminds us, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed?” Daily communication should lead to agreement, even on the smallest matters. Persistent disagreement signals brewing trouble that needs swift repair. Everything is fixable through:

   • Prayer,

   • Studying the Bible together (disagreements often stem from lack of scriptural grounding),

   • Submitting to what Scripture says,

   • Submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ (Eph 5:21),

   • Counseling (we say spiritual counseling and not therapy) visit radiantside.com and fill in a form to talk to us.

9. Submission – Every couple should practice biblical submission:

   • First, husband and wife submit to God out of reverence.

   • Second, wives submit to their husbands (Eph 5:22, 3:18).

   • Third, spouses submit to each other in reverence for Christ (Eph 5:21).

   • Fourth, husbands honor their wives, recognizing them as co‑heirs of God’s grace

1 Peter 3:7 CEB
Husbands, likewise, submit by living with your wife in ways that honor her, knowing that she is the weaker partner. Honor her all the more, as she is also a coheir of the gracious care of life. Do this so that your prayers won’t be hindered.

Friends, great communication is possible in our homes if we follow the pattern established in God’s Word and act intentionally. If you’re not experiencing it now, think of it as a lost axe in a river - God is near, ready to retrieve and restore your marital dialogue. Pray intentionally for your spouse and children regarding communication, whether it’s thriving or stagnant, and trust that Jesus’ guidance will bring it back to life.

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