Why Waiting Until Marriage Is Too Late

If you think—or you know—that something is important to you in marriage, the best time to discuss it, fight for clarity, question it, and resolve it is before marriage, not after.

Too many people enter marriage hoping unresolved issues will somehow disappear once vows are exchanged. In reality, what is ignored before marriage almost always reappears—louder, heavier, and more painful—during marriage.

Before marriage is the season for honesty, courage, prayer, and discernment. It is the time to ask the hard questions while there is still room to pause, reflect, realign or dissolve.

Healthy Foundations for Godly Relationships

Listen to God Before You Listen to Feelings

For singles and youths, the most important voice to listen to before marriage is the Spirit of God—not feelings, not ego, not pressure, and not bodily desires.

Feelings can be strong, but they are not always reliable. Emotional attachment can blur judgment, while attraction can silence wisdom. God’s voice, however, brings clarity, peace, and direction.

• Do not assume.

• Do not infer.

• Do not say, “It will be sorted out in marriage.”

If you do not receive the answers you need to be certain, then marriage must wait. Certainty is not perfection, but it is peace.

How to Hear God’ Clearly for Godly Relationships

What Must Be Settled Before Marriage

Before marriage, there are non-negotiable steps every single person must take:

• You must observe

• You must investigate

• You must verify

• You must probe

• You must pray

• You must agree

Beyond agreement, you must receive assurance and peace in your spirit that the issue has truly been resolved.

If there is doubt, pause the marriage.

If the line is blurred, do not dismiss it as “cold feet.”

Cold feet are often signals inviting you to ask better questions—not excuses to rush forward blindly.

Once the line is crossed without clarity, you may enter a difficult and emotionally draining journey—one that is vulnerable to conflict, regret, and even divorce.

Red Flags Singles Should Never Ignore Before Marriage

The Importance of Godly Counsel Before Marriage

Before marriage is also the time to listen to the voices of people who genuinely care about you—parents, siblings, pastors, mentors, trusted friends, and other God-ordained voices of reason.

This does not mean accepting their opinions over what God has told you. Rather, their voices often serve to:

• Confirm God’s direction

• Reveal emotional blind spots

• Highlight patterns you may not see

• Bring clarity where emotions create confusion

God frequently uses wise counsel to protect us from decisions fueled solely by emotion.

However, maturity is essential. You must learn to discern which perspectives matter and ignore voices driven by jealousy, fear, personal bias, or selfish motives.

The Power of Godly Mentorship in Life and Relationships

Balancing God’s Voice, Feelings, and External Advice

Consider this example.

You are a believer and sense God leading you into a relationship with a lady who, at the moment, has no job and no solid educational background. Yet, you see dedication, diligence, teachability, and faithfulness in her character.

Those around you may strongly oppose your decision, offering countless reasons why a “promising” or “rising” individual like you should avoid such a relationship.

This is where balance is critical.

You must carefully investigate:

• What God has spoken

• What your feelings are saying

• What external voices of reason are presenting
  

Each voice must be examined—not ignored. God’s voice must be primary, feelings must be questioned, and counsel must be weighed with wisdom.

Discerning God’s Will Without Ignoring Wisdom

What You Ignore Will Eventually Return

People around you may have observed behaviors, histories, or warning signs you are emotionally blind to. Ignoring such insight can be costly.

As rightly stated:

“What you ignore before marriage will come back to bite you during marriage. What you fail to address before marriage will turn back to address you during marriage.” — Dr. Simeon Olaomo

The enemy actively seeks to destroy marriages. Singles and believers must be intentional not to become a part of that agenda by making preventable mistakes.

“The prudent see danger and take refuge, but the simple keep going and pay the penalty.” — Proverbs 22:3 (NIV)

This verse reminds singles that wisdom is not fear—it is foresight.

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Partnering With God Beyond Relationships

Building a lasting marriage begins long before dating or engagement—it begins with how you partner with God in every area of life.

Singles must partner with God concerning:

• Money and financial discipline

• Dressing and self-presentation

• Affections and emotional boundaries

• Desires and motivations

• Character and spiritual growth

Marriage success is rarely accidental. It is the product of intentional alignment with God over time. If you meet any person who find it difficult to partner with God in any of these areas, this may be a sign to you that this person may be unfit to partner with you in that area of life effectively.

Living Intentionally: Partnering With God in Everyday Life

A Question Every Single Must Answer

Will you intentionally build a relationship that evolves into a beautiful, lasting marriage—or will you treat relationships and marriage like a game of luck?

Clarity today prevents pain tomorrow.

Our Encouragement for Singles and Youths

We encourage all singles and young people everywhere to pray and cultivate a deep, consistent relationship with God—not only for marital success, but for complete fulfillment, peace, and purpose in life.

Marriage is not the goal - God is. When God is central, every other aspect of life finds balance.

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